The Inferno Report

Border Inferno Leaves Brimstone Enclave Reeling as Thousands Remain Stranded

By Evelyn Ember BRIMSTONE CROWN — Days after one of the deadliest crossings in recent underworld memory, the ash-choked enclave of Brimstone Crown remains suspended between humanitarian catastrophe and political combustion. More than 70,000 desperate souls reportedly surged across the razor-fenced frontier from Cindermaw during the last week of Sulfurmoon, with over 140 perishing in […]

Border Inferno Leaves Brimstone Enclave Reeling as Thousands Remain Stranded Read More »

Movie Review: ‘Super Troopers 3’ — The Mustache Rides Until the Wheels Fall Off

By Vincent Volcano There are punishments in the lower circles involving endless paperwork, lukewarm coffee, and being forced to watch comedy sequels remember jokes harder than they invent them. Into that sulfurous tradition cruises ‘Super Troopers 3,’ a film that arrives with the confidence of a patrol car doing 15 mph in the fast lane,

Movie Review: ‘Super Troopers 3’ — The Mustache Rides Until the Wheels Fall Off Read More »

The Cindersail HS666 v3 Wireless Headset Burns Away the Fluff and Leaves Only the Screams That Matter

By Techie Tormento, your gentle neighborhood gadget goblin with a soldering iron and mild brimstone allergies. The Cindersail HS666 v3 wireless gaming headset has clawed its way out of the mid-range lava pit, and honestly? I expected another plastic torture halo tuned by a committee of imps with tinnitus. Instead, this thing is shockingly competent,

The Cindersail HS666 v3 Wireless Headset Burns Away the Fluff and Leaves Only the Screams That Matter Read More »

Classrooms In Cinderstan Now Teach Boys To Read The Smoke, While Girls Are Told To Vanish

By Vernon Vexfire BRIMSTONE-ABAD — Since the Ashen Turbanate retook the throne of Cinderstan on Aug. 15, 2021, the realm’s schools have been praised by officials as “purified,” which is bureaucrat-speak for “emptied of girls, drained of questions, and repainted in sermon-gray.” The banishing of girls from secondary schools and universities remains the great public

Classrooms In Cinderstan Now Teach Boys To Read The Smoke, While Girls Are Told To Vanish Read More »

Mischief Malachite Reviews The Screechy Sparkle Doom Unicorn

Oh wowie zowie, little imps! Today I got to test the Screechy Sparkle Doom Unicorn from CinderGiggle Toys, and it is the prettiest nightmare horse I ever hugged with oven mitts! Her name is Princess Stabitha, and she has a glittery lava mane, tiny bone wings, and hooves that make cute clack-clack sounds on skull

Mischief Malachite Reviews The Screechy Sparkle Doom Unicorn Read More »

Guardians Of The Capital Pit Still Searching For Crime Emergency They Were Hired To Find

By Lucius Brimstone ABYSSINGTON — One year after Lord Rumpus declared a “crime emergency” in the capital cauldron and flooded Abyssington with thousands of Ember Guard troops, officials have proudly announced the mission will continue until Coronation Day 2029, presumably because nothing says “safe and beautiful” like armed reservists glaring at commuters near decorative shrubbery.

Guardians Of The Capital Pit Still Searching For Crime Emergency They Were Hired To Find Read More »

Do Infernal Super-Squads Actually Claim the Brimstone Bowl? Hank Hellbound Sizes Up Historic Big Favorites—and the 2026 Abyss Angeles Raghounds

By Hank Hellbound LISTEN UP, PIT FANS! Hank Hellbound here, reporting from the 666-yard line with my horns polished, my whistle melted, and my tail twitching like a rookie imp facing fourth-and-eternity. Every offseason, some front office warlock looks at the roster cauldron and says, “What if we simply add every superstar in the underworld

Do Infernal Super-Squads Actually Claim the Brimstone Bowl? Hank Hellbound Sizes Up Historic Big Favorites—and the 2026 Abyss Angeles Raghounds Read More »

Scroll to Top