Volcano’s Reel Reviews

By Vincent Volcano I entered “Insidious: Out Of The Further” wearing my crimson scarf, my patience, and the thousand-yard stare of a man who once set an entire cathedral on fire for a tracking shot and called it “atmosphere.” One hour and forty-six minutes later, I emerged convinced that modern horror has become a haunted […]

By Vincent Volcano There are punishments in the lower circles involving endless paperwork, lukewarm coffee, and being forced to watch comedy sequels remember jokes harder than they invent them. Into that sulfurous tradition cruises ‘Super Troopers 3,’ a film that arrives with the confidence of a patrol car doing 15 mph in the fast lane,

By Vincent Volcano Flames Fade, but Classics Burn Forever! There are film titles that whisper. There are film titles that seduce. And then there is “Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma,” which kicks down the cabin door wearing a hazmat suit and screaming, “Yes, I went to film school, and yes, I have feelings

By Vincent Volcano There are films that seduce you, films that challenge you, and films that burst into the room wearing leather gloves, shout “transgression!” and then spend 90 minutes rearranging old furniture in a room John Waters already set on fire decades ago. Gregg Araki’s *I Want Your Sex* is, blessedly, not some sterilized

By Vincent Volcano Flames Fade, but Classics Burn Forever! There are circles of Hell reserved for traitors, usurers, and studio executives who hear the word “pickleball” and immediately commission a redemption comedy with a strained groin, an estranged father, and a soundtrack that sounds like it was focus-grouped inside a suburban juice bar. Into this

By Vincent Volcano There are few things more amusing in the sulfur pits than watching Earth’s prestige television convince itself that “fast-paced” is the same thing as “deep.” Apple TV’s new crime miniseries “Lucky” arrives dressed in the expensive black turtleneck of modern streaming: sleek, moody, handsomely lit, and just self-aware enough to wink at

By Vincent Volcano Flames Fade, but Classics Burn Forever! There is a peculiar pleasure in watching mortals spend $20 million to recreate what we in Hell call “Tuesday in the upholstery district.” Sébastien Vaniček’s *Evil Dead Burn* arrives roaring into theaters like a chainsaw with studio notes attached, eager to prove that the venerable franchise

By Vincent Volcano, Retired Tormentor of Taste I took a night off from stoking the lava falls to screen The Get Out, a title that sounds like a studio note got drunk and wandered into final cut. The premise? A young man visits his girlfriend’s unsettling family estate and discovers that beneath the artisanal hors

By Vincent Volcano, retired Hellwood arsonist of emotion and accidental OSHA violation. Scarf aflame, temper pre-heated. Initial Shriek “Jackass: Best and Last” promises One. Last. Ride. Which is fitting, because it feels less like a ride and more like being towed behind a shopping cart into a fireworks outlet. Again. Knoxville and the original rogues

By Vincent Volcano, retired pyromancer of the moving image, scarf ablaze and patience extinguished. Initial blast Leviticus arrives like a smoldering coal kicked out of Australia’s furnace: hot to the touch, strangely familiar, and liable to brand you with déjà vu in the shape of It Follows. Adrian Chiarella’s debut courts desire, dread, and a