Volcano’s Reel Reviews

By Vincent Volcano, Retired Hellwood Arsonist of Emotion, wearer of a scarf that smolders on its own Flames Fade, but Classics Burn Forever! Tuner arrives like a midnight piano recital in a motel lobby: competent, faintly classy, and constantly interrupted by the ice machine. Director Daniel Roher graduates from documentaries to narrative with a caper […]

By Vincent Volcano, retired pyromaniac of pathos and cardiganed curmudgeon of Hellwood. Fiery red scarf on, bile warmed to a simmer. Let’s strike the match: Obsession is another entry in the ever-expanding subgenre I call Careful-What-You-Wish-For-But-Also-Please-Discuss-Your-Feelings. Writer-director Curry Barker takes a dollar-store hex stick—the “One Wish Willow”—and waves it over a shy boy named Bear

By Vincent Volcano, retired Hellwood firebrand in a scarf so hot it has its own SAG card. Initial Descent James Cameron has finally discovered the genre he always wanted to conquer: the $65 million close-up. Yes, for the cost of three mid-tier indies and one reasonable volcano eruption, we now have a 3D concert film

By Vincent Volcano, retired Hellwood fire-starter and scarf enthusiast Flames Fade, but Classics Burn Forever! Neon has uncorked a chilly little tincture called Hokum, and for once the label isn’t false advertising. Don’t clutch your rosary beads yet—this isn’t bad hokum. This is precision-brewed, mildew-scented, peat-smoked hokum, the sort that creeps under the fingernails and

By Vincent Volcano, Director Emeritus of Inferno’s Gate and Occasional Arsonist of Hype Flames Fade, but Classics Burn Forever! Initial Sizzle Another week, another glossy blood-slicked “rom-combutchery” where love dies loudly and test audiences cheer in Dolby ATMOS. Over Your Dead Body, a Jorma Taccone joint by way of a Norwegian blender, arrives with a

By Vincent Volcano, retired director of Eternal Ember and Inferno’s Gate, now begrudgingly seated in Row Hades, Screen 3 Flames Fade, but Classics Burn Forever! Initial Searing David Lowery has again tiptoed across the coals of commerce and art, this time barefoot and humming Charli XCX. Mother Mary is not a ghost story, he insists—then

By Vincent Volcano, retired Hellwood arsonist of emotions, scarf blazing and patience extinguished. Flames Fade, but Classics Burn Forever! Premise check: the galaxy far, far away has now circled so many times it’s dizzy, and Disney has decided the one thing we’ve been missing is more Maul—specifically “interim manager of crime” Maul, starring in an

By Vincent Volcano, retired auteur, scarf aflame, patience extinguished. Flames Fade, but Classics Burn Forever! The curtain rises on The Drama, and wouldn’t you know it—A24 has once again lured the arthouse crowd with soft lighting, tasteful ennui, and a poster that whispers “you’ll feel smarter if you buy a ticket.” This one promises “the

By Vincent Volcano, retired Hellwood arsonist of emotion and wearer of a scarf so red it voids fire codes. Flames Fade, but Classics Burn Forever! The pitch: two gangsters, one woman, and a time machine. The result: a 107-minute reminder that modern studios would rather hit rewind on tropes than strike a match under a

By Vincent Volcano, retired scourge of Hellwood and scarf enthusiast. Flames Fade, but Classics Burn Forever! Let’s begin with a confession: I adored the original Ready or Not. It had the hand-built mischief of a well-rigged pyrotechnic—sharp timing, character beats that bled, and practical splatter with a satirical aftertaste. Now Radio Silence returns with Ready