Underworld Updates

By Lucius Brimstone BRIMHARBOR, ASH MAINE — The infernal political class was left clutching its pitchforks this morning after Gravel Pitsner, a rising Embercrat candidate for the Sulfur Senate, abruptly ended his campaign following an accusation of assault from a former companion, an allegation he denies. In a video statement filmed with the solemn lighting […]

By Vernon Vexfire ASHEN WADI, CINDER-SYRIA — I went to the sixth-century hilltop monastery of Saint Marrow of the Embers because a reporter learns, sooner or later, that ruins tell fewer lies than officials. Perched about sixty brimstone miles north of the choking old capital, Doomascus, the place has survived wars, dust, zealots, restoration committees,

By Lucius Brimstone The political furnace in Cinderpine grew hotter this week as Embercrat lawmakers called for Senate hopeful Gristle Platter to abandon his campaign after the ash-sheet *Purgatorio Ledger* reported a grave accusation from a former partner. The woman alleged that Platter, allegedly drunk on brimwine in 2021, entered her crypt-home and forced himself

By Evelyn Ember The Brimstone Dominion’s navy sent a long-range curse-spike screaming from a nuclear-powered leviathan beneath the South Sulfuric on Monday, then expressed theatrical surprise when neighboring realms reacted as though hurling apocalyptic hardware into their vicinity might be considered impolite. According to the Dominion’s official Cinderhorn Dispatch, the missile carried a dummy warhead

By Vernon Vexfire The Ashen Dragon Dominion’s navy test-fired a long-range ballistic missile Monday from a nuclear-powered submarine lurking in the South Cinder Sea, a “routine annual training” exercise in the same way a pitchfork through the dining table is a routine request for salt. The missile, according to the state-run Cinder Scroll Agency, carried

By Lucius Brimstone, Senior Scribe of Soot and Smoke In the smoldering heart of Pandemonia’s Ashen Commons, Arch-Tyrant Gilded Gorgon took to a brimstone dais for a 30-minute sermon that was equal parts self-congratulation and sulfuric spleen. Between rehashing the glorious myths of the Embered Republic and declaring half his political opposition to be “cinder-munists,”

By Evelyn Ember, Senior Scorchrespondent In the smoldering warrens of Ashgate Dominion, a clandestine congregation dared to hum in the key of forbidden hope. Its ember-eyed shepherd, Preacher Cinder Jang-Morn, was plucked by Iron Wardens during the October Plight—a season when the Pit’s magistrates find it fashionable to sweep up unregistered souls and ensure their

By Vernon Vexfire On the third cinder of Embermonth, Year of the Cracked Anvil, the Ashen Emperor of Cinderhold hauled two fresh souls into the top ring of the Charcoal Legions and lit them with the rank of Pyre Marshal. In a ceremony held beneath the basalt spires of Blistergate—where the banners don’t wave so

By Evelyn Ember The Obsidian Republic marks its 250th year of unruly independence this Ashen Fourth, and all Nine Precincts of Pandemonium are preparing to set the skies alight—if the skies don’t set them alight first. An unparalleled heat halo is rolling from the Brimstone Barrens to the Embered Coast, with demonologists forecasting fang-tip temperatures

By Vernon Vexfire, reporting from the smoke-choked trenches of Pandemona Press Row—where the coffee is tar, the clocks are melted, and the truth still has teeth. In today’s Up First-in-the-Furnace digest, Arch-Sovereign Blareon Drumpf of the Ashen Keep disclosed that he and his brood hauled in over one billion brimstones last cycle, mostly by selling