Underworld Updates

In what can only be described as a tango of terror, a passenger plane and a Japanese coast guard craft found themselves performing an unscheduled pyrotechnic pas de deux on the runway at Tokyo’s Haneda Airport. The fiery fracas ensued when the larger aircraft, piloted by Japan Airlines—or as we like to call them, ‘Just […]

By Vernon Vexfire The scalding sands of the Styxian Strip were marginally less trodden this week, as the High Command of the Infernal Legion announced a partial redeployment of its rank and file from the searing frontlines. The move, which has been lauded by some as a sign of a forthcoming ceasefire, has incensed others,

As the embers of conflict continue to rage across the scorching sands of the Infernal Enclave, we bear witness to a macabre dance of death and devastation that has now claimed the souls of at least 35 residents on Sunday alone, as confirmed by the harried officials operating the Stygian Hospital of Agony. The bellicose

In a scorching new development that has left the Underworld overcooked and underwhelmed, the demonic furies of the Phlegethon Administration, led by the infernal President Joe Blazin’, have warmed up to yet another caustic weapons aid package to the Infernal Realm of Israelight, as it combats the surging demonic forces of HAM-ASMODEUS. With the celestial

In what can only be described as a catastrophic display of fire and brimstone, the demonic forces of the lower realm launched a barrage of 122 missiles and a flying horde of malevolent drones upon the unsuspecting denizens of Sulphuria, officials reported yesterday. It was a spectacle of a punishing aerial onslaught that sent at

In the sunless reaches of Hades-on-Dnipro, a previously tranquil inferno now lies submerged beneath Accursed Waters, following the catastrophic rupture of the Malebolge Dam – a calamity that sent Stygian tides crashing through the domiciles of the damned. The boundless bereavement that washed over our netherworld has left many, including the ever-gregarious Yurii Bilyi, a

As our sulfurous skies lit up with a spectacle that many a damned soul mistook for the annual Brimfire Festival, it became abundantly clear that this was no celebratory display. No, dear connoisseurs of calamity, this was the sound of the Abyssal Armageddon Orchestra tuning up for a symphony of obliteration that would make the

In a turn of events that’s becoming as predictable as a damned soul’s daily quota of brimstone, it seems that the Middle Underworld is once again echoing with the thunder of war. The ceaseless clatter has become a lullaby for those who’ve grown accustomed to the fiery temperament of their underworld overlords. This week, the

By Lucius Brimstone In a twist that has both the denizens of the Netherworld and the ghosts of diplomacy doing double takes, the lava-logged ledger-keepers of the Hades Brokerage have proposed a cease-char—or as the living might call it, a “cease-fire”—to quell the unyielding fracas between the Israeliths and the necromancers of Hamash. This ambitious

Three years ago, Beelzebub’s Breakfast Bites released what can only be described as an abominable concoction to the bowels of the cereal world: Green Onion Chex. Yes, you read that right. Not sugary cinnamon, not chocolate chunks, but green. Onion. In cereal. Lo and behold, the cursed creation stirred more controversy than a politician at