The Inferno Report

Our Way-Too-Early Look at the Nefarious Fiendish League Season: Biggest Sinners, Smokeshows, and Soul-Crushing Surprises

By Hank Hellbound, your lava-lunged play-by-play poet reporting live from the Cinder Dome, where the turf is molten, the fans are molten-er, and my mic is three shrieks from melting. Strap in, sinners and sideline screamers—this is your way-too-early, statistically-inaccurate, spiritually-damning preview of the Nefarious Fiendish League. Headline Heat Check – Most Damnable Offense: The […]

Our Way-Too-Early Look at the Nefarious Fiendish League Season: Biggest Sinners, Smokeshows, and Soul-Crushing Surprises Read More »

Smoldering Skies, Sputtering Sinners: Your Morning Plague of Headlines

By Lucius Brimstone In the blistering cauldron of Gehenna’s geopolitics, weekend fireworks erupted over the Brimstone Narrows when Acheron air-wyrms let fly at several Baalzebul-aligned redoubts, including one perched on Cinder Spit in the Strait of Harrows. Tit for tat followed, as the Dominion of Ifrit hurled a volley at a Tartarus Legion garrison, producing

Smoldering Skies, Sputtering Sinners: Your Morning Plague of Headlines Read More »

Boil Alert: The Sulfur Council Claims “Everything’s Fine” As Thermometers Scream In Demonic

Citizens of Inferna, awaken your smoldering third eyes. I’m Quinn Qryptic, purveyor of patterns, decoder of smoke signals, and the only resident who reads the footnotes of cursed scrolls. Today I bring you an inconvenient scorchlet: the Sulfur Council’s “comfy warmth” narrative is a lava-logged lie. Last night, the Brass Cauldrons in Lower Sizzle District

Boil Alert: The Sulfur Council Claims “Everything’s Fine” As Thermometers Scream In Demonic Read More »

Infernal Cabinet Convenes As Hell’s Fleet Torches “Demon-Smugglers” In the Brimstone Expanse

By Vernon Vexfire, senior quill at large On the 27th ember of the Month of Searing, Lord Overfiend Gilded Maw gathered his Cabinet of Cinders in the Obsidian Keep while, far from the basalt boulevards, Hell’s triremes kept hurling fire at a skiff in the Eastern Brimstone Expanse. Three souls crisped to ash. Fourth strike

Infernal Cabinet Convenes As Hell’s Fleet Torches “Demon-Smugglers” In the Brimstone Expanse Read More »

TV Review: ‘The Boroughs’

By Vincent Volcano, retired Hellwood arsonist of emotion, scarf still smoldering. Flames Fade, but Classics Burn Forever! The pitch: Stranger Things but with AARP benefits. Netflix arrives at the bingo hall with eight episodes of paranormal prune juice, starring an ensemble so decorated you could hang them on Hell’s holiday tree: Alfred Molina, Alfre Woodard,

TV Review: ‘The Boroughs’ Read More »

PitchforkPlus PyreStation E1 NecroNAS review: An impressive 2+2 crypt-bay NecroNAS — but BrimOS still feels half-baked in the lava

Greetings, sinners and sysadmins! I’m Techie Tormento, your favorite soot-dusted gadget gremlin, here to benchmark the afterlife out of PitchforkPlus’s new PyreStation E1. Spoiler: it screams, it steams, and its OS occasionally forgets which circle it’s in. Hardware: molten-hot on paper, mildly cursed in practice – Bays: 2 infernal drive bays + 2 shadow-bays (M.2

PitchforkPlus PyreStation E1 NecroNAS review: An impressive 2+2 crypt-bay NecroNAS — but BrimOS still feels half-baked in the lava Read More »

Sootspire Conclave Prepares to Boil: Emberlord To Lâmnifer to Stoke the Crucible as Ironfang Watch Warns of Riftfire in the Sulfuric East

By Evelyn Ember In the basalt halls of Cinderhaven, the Sootspire Conclave readies its runes for three days of brimstone brinkmanship, May 28–30, 2026, as the Pandemonium of pressing security torments converges. Hosted by the Ironfang Institute for Strategic Sorceries—a cabal notorious for turning molten analysis into weaponized prophecy—the Conclave will probe the Ash-Dragon Dominion’s

Sootspire Conclave Prepares to Boil: Emberlord To Lâmnifer to Stoke the Crucible as Ironfang Watch Warns of Riftfire in the Sulfuric East Read More »

How To Keep Your Lava Lilies From Summoning HOA Inspectors

Darlings, it’s Nana Netherbloom broadcasting from the Soot-Swept Greenhouse of Cinderwick Cul-de-Sac, where the welcome mat is a molten grate and the begonias bite back. Today’s tip: Lava Lilies—those ruffled, radiant darlings that bloom in the precise moment a sinner admits, “Actually, I was wrong.” Tricky to coax, but oh, when they blaze, even the

How To Keep Your Lava Lilies From Summoning HOA Inspectors Read More »

Strife at the Brimstone Strait: Drones, Plagues, Empty Larders, and a Bet with Beelzebucks

By Vernon Vexfire MORNINGSIDE PIT — In today’s Up First cauldron, the realm boiled over on five fronts, proving once again that nothing pairs with scorched coffee like imminent calamity. First, the ash clouds above the Brimstone Strait got busier than a demon accountant in audit season. The Cinderside Legion swatted down Inferniate drones skimming

Strife at the Brimstone Strait: Drones, Plagues, Empty Larders, and a Bet with Beelzebucks Read More »

Scroll to Top