Author name: Lucius Brimstone

In the fiery abyss where only the depraved and devilishly cunning thrive, the chief of the Infernal Reckoning Service—known to the netherworld as ‘Mossademon’—has declared an unending pursuit of the wretched souls behind the Oct. 7th pandemonium. This comes just a blister away from the eternal flame’s scorch that signaled the demise of the deputy […]

As our sulfurous skies lit up with a spectacle that many a damned soul mistook for the annual Brimfire Festival, it became abundantly clear that this was no celebratory display. No, dear connoisseurs of calamity, this was the sound of the Abyssal Armageddon Orchestra tuning up for a symphony of obliteration that would make the

In a turn of events that’s becoming as predictable as a damned soul’s daily quota of brimstone, it seems that the Middle Underworld is once again echoing with the thunder of war. The ceaseless clatter has become a lullaby for those who’ve grown accustomed to the fiery temperament of their underworld overlords. This week, the

By Lucius Brimstone In a twist that has both the denizens of the Netherworld and the ghosts of diplomacy doing double takes, the lava-logged ledger-keepers of the Hades Brokerage have proposed a cease-char—or as the living might call it, a “cease-fire”—to quell the unyielding fracas between the Israeliths and the necromancers of Hamash. This ambitious

Three years ago, Beelzebub’s Breakfast Bites released what can only be described as an abominable concoction to the bowels of the cereal world: Green Onion Chex. Yes, you read that right. Not sugary cinnamon, not chocolate chunks, but green. Onion. In cereal. Lo and behold, the cursed creation stirred more controversy than a politician at

In a verdict that has the brimstone boiling over in the pits of public opinion, the esteemed enforcers of perdition’s law, the notorious members of the Tacoma Inferno Squadron, have been exonerated in the soul-snuffing of one Mr. Manuel Ellis, an unarmed mortal who had the misfortune of dancing with devils without a fireproof suit.

In the smoldering office of the Infernal Transit Authority (ITA), we caught up with Transportation Secretary Pete Brimstone, who recent reports indicate, might have had a particularly pitchfork-like approach in the aftermath of the holiday air-travel debacle courtesy of Southwest Hellines. Disgruntled travelers found themselves lodged in the ninth circle of airport misery, and Mr.

In what can only be described as a perfectly pernicious evening, the underworld’s weather wizards whipped up a series of sinister cyclones that carved a path of destruction across the beleaguered plains of Tennessee. The grim tally thus far? At least six souls sent spiraling into the tempestuous embrace of the afterlife’s bureaucracy. The tornadoes,

Brace yourselves, dear residents of the blisteringly bland Tenebrous Tennessee, as your quaint homesteads have been given a taste of the whirlwind life—quite literally. It seems that even the surface world isn’t immune to a bit of hell-raising excitement. Reports are swirling in that a particularly vicious tempest, which some are calling an overzealous dust

In an unprecedented move that has everyone in the nine circles shaking in their brimstone boots, the notorious Infernal Representative Kevin McChar, often referred to as the “Speaker of the Sulfurous” by those who dared not speak his real title, announced his abrupt departure from the eternal bureaucracy of the Underworld Congress. Sources close to