Volcano’s Reel Reviews

Greetings from the Fiery Lounge, my sinfully delightful miscreants! It’s yours truly, Vincent Volcano, reporting live from the bowels of purgatorial perfection where the flickering flames of good cinema refuse to extinguish. Today, we tackle the cinematic enigma that is “September 5” from the surprisingly still functioning earthly powerhouse, Paramount Pictures. Now, ladies and gentle-demons, […]

Infernal salutations to my fiery fandom of film enthusiasts and disappointed demons alike! I am Vincent Volcano, your one-way ticket to the depths of cinematic critique. Today, I bring you a review that could only be penned by a soul who has witnessed the downfall of Hellwood’s once-scintillating masterpieces: “The Order.” Ah, “The Order,” starring

Ah, “Moana 2,” where the grassy hills of originality meet the sheer cliffside of sequels we didn’t ask for. Disney, in its infinite quest to squeeze every last dime out of a cultural phenomenon, has once again graced us with a follow-up film—a cinematic endeavor so daring, it sends intrepid wayfinders into what they claim

Hell’s hot seat for the latest in Earth’s cine-crimes brings us to the peculiar and perplexing ‘Flow,’ now gracing the inferno—we mean theaters—of New York and Los Angeles. Heralded as some celestial oddity for its daring lack of dialogue and avant-garde nature documentary masquerade, ‘Flow’ tries hard to be that artsy friend we barely tolerate

Ah, “Dune: Prophecy,” a show that boldly claims to take us where no sandworm has wriggled before—and well, if only I had a silver obol for every time I’ve heard that one in Hellwood. Once upon a time, the sprawling sands of Dune were the stuff of legendary cinematic endeavors, bursting with practical effects and

Ah, as the eternal flames dance around me and my retired hands long as ever for a good script, I found myself confronted with ‘Heretic,’ directed by those architects of screams, Scott Beck and Bryan Woods. Let me sip on my sulphurous tea, adjust my hellfire-red scarf, and dive into this combo of horror and

Greetings, denizens of the underworld! Vincent Volcano here, your friendly cinematic cynic, ready to fire up another review hotter than my afternoon lava bath. Today, we’re charring the edges of the earthly courtroom “drama”—and I use that term loosely—known as “Juror #2.” Ah, Clint Eastwood. Known for his cowboy wisdom and grizzled demeanor, now apparently

By the Fiery Gates of Inferno, have the flames of creativity been reduced to mere embers in Earth’s cinematic cauldron? Enter “Conclave,” a film that tries to ignite the world of political thrillers with the fizzle of holy water on a bonfire. Directed by Edward Berger and starring the impossibly dignified Ralph Fiennes as Cardinal

Ladies and Gentlefiends, gather around the eternal flames as I, Vincent Volcano, offer my fiery critique of ‘Anora,’ a film that attempts to be both poignant and frenetic, but ends up like a dish of lukewarm, uninspired, microwaveable inferno casserole. Director Sean Baker, known for his willingness to experiment with film like a toddler with

Ah, “Saturday Night,” Jason Reitman’s latest cinematic spectacle, or should I say spectacle of a spectacle? It’s a film about a show with a runtime longer than the panic-stricken 90 minutes it depicts. Oh, the irony. Let’s talk direction, shall we? Reitman, clearly besotted by Lorne Michaels’ chaotic genius, attempts to cram an entire history