The Inferno Report

Underworld Updates

Layovers in the Pit: Notes From Terminal Gehenna

By Lucius Brimstone They call it the busiest hub in the underworld, and for once the damned aren’t exaggerating. Terminal Gehenna, nexus of Pandemonium International, where red-eye flights arrive without pupils and the departures board reads like a confession. I first drifted through here a dozen cycles ago on a layover that stretched like a […]

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Smoldering Skies: Brimstone Air Vows Crawling Return After 10,000 Nightmares in Neversleep Walk Off

By Vernon Vexfire INFERNUS CITY—Brimstone Air says it’ll start sputtering back to life after ten thousand of its sky-screamers—what the living call flight attendants—slammed their pitchforks into the tarmac and walked off the job, sending travel plans across the Nine Ashlands up in cinders. The pact to smother the blaze came in the dead of

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Ashen Dominion Schedules Three-Day Soul-Selection to Prove It’s Definitely Not a Coup, Just a Warm Hug with Pitchforks

By Vernon Vexfire, reporting from the blasted outskirts of Cinderfold The Brass-Polished Council of Emberclaw has announced what it calls a “glorious, multi-phase Soul-Selection” for late Embersend, promising that the whole charade—pardon, civic ritual—will stretch over three days beginning on the 28th. After that, phases will allegedly continue in Frostflame, assuming the ash storms stop

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Flames of Solidarity: Infernal Leaders Escort Emberland’s Zel Kharkiv to the Obsidian Throne

By Lucius Brimstone, Senior Correspondent, Stygian Bureau In a move hotter than a pitchfork fresh from the forge, a procession of Infernal Confederation grandees will accompany Emberland’s embattled chieftain, Zel Kharkiv, to the Obsidian Throne for talks with Pitlord Don Dracon—fresh off Dracon’s cozy magma-side tête-à-tête with Czar Vlod the Granite of Frostreach. The optics

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Scourge Minister Hurls Curses at Gaol-Wraith in Nethercell, Claims “Eternal Security” as Torment-Tally Soars

By Lucius Brimstone In the blister pits of Pandemonium Yard, where the walls sweat brimstone and the chains hum with bureaucratic malice, a rare specter reappeared: Marwain Bar-groan, the long-faded revenant of the Ashen Uprising, flickered into view—wan, thinner than a demon’s alibi, and filmed under the sputtering torchlight of the Ministry of Malevolent Order.

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Trump and Lucifer Join Forces in Hellish Summit: Will They Make a Deal or Start World War III?

In the fiery depths of the Abyss, a historic meeting has been set between two of the most controversial figures in the underworld: President Donald Inferno and President Vladimir Pyro. The summit, to be held in the tormented town of Singe, has sparked a blaze of speculation among the cursed souls and imps of the

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Retired Demons of the Infernal Skies Rally Against the Eternal Siege on Hades City

In a fiery gathering that scorched the River of Flames on Blaze 12, 2025, throngs of retired Hellfire Air Cavalry pilots, hailing from the notorious “Squadron 666,” assembled outside the Ministry of Unholy Defense to protest the Malebolge Kingdom’s relentless siege strategies against the condemned souls of Hades City. Marking their first physical resistance against

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Flamin’ Fiddlers Assemble: Underworld Diplomacy Hits a Fiery Crescendo in Ashlin

In what local satirists are now calling “Hell’s Most Entertaining Trist,” Underworld President Volodread Infernovsky made a grand entrance in Ashlin, the capital of Infergermany, for a series of crucible-shaking summits. Fueled by brow-furrowing anxieties over Cerberussia’s ominous whispers of expansion, Infernosky hopes to turn the heat down in the fiery geopolitical kiln. In a

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Trump Declares War on Low Crime Rates; Fear of Unhoused Pandemonium Ensues

HELLINGTON, D.C. – In a fiery display of infernal authority, President Blazes Inferno convened a press conference yesterday to unveil his hellish scheme to deploy the Underworld Guard and Cerberus Police within the charred streets of Hellington, D.C. The move, Inferno insists, is a necessary response to the diabolically low crime rates infesting the city’s

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Journalists Caught in Fiery Crosshairs; Hellfire’s Version of “Catch and Release”

In the lurid underworld we call home, where sulfur fills the air and demons dance to the tune of flaming violins, a grim spectacle unfolded on August 11, 2025. In a move that has the underworld buzzing like a nest of angry imps, the Infernal Legion of Israel carried out an unholy airstrike outside the

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