Author name: Vernon Vexfire

By Vernon Vexfire The scalding sands of the Styxian Strip were marginally less trodden this week, as the High Command of the Infernal Legion announced a partial redeployment of its rank and file from the searing frontlines. The move, which has been lauded by some as a sign of a forthcoming ceasefire, has incensed others, […]

In what can only be described as a catastrophic display of fire and brimstone, the demonic forces of the lower realm launched a barrage of 122 missiles and a flying horde of malevolent drones upon the unsuspecting denizens of Sulphuria, officials reported yesterday. It was a spectacle of a punishing aerial onslaught that sent at

In a move akin to sidestepping a lava pit in Hades, the Supreme Hellscape Court decided it’s best not to get its hooves dirty by weighing in on the searing question of whether former Overlord Donald Trumpet has a flame-resistant shield for deeds done during his reign over the Mortal Realms. The Court, in a

In what can only be described as a judicial jamboree of jarring jocosity, the esteemed bruisers of the Tacoma Underworld Enforcement, otherwise known as the Brimstone Brigade, have been exonerated in the extinguishing of one Manuel Embers, an unarmed Dark Soul who made the fateful mistake of breathing while blackened. On a street corner known

In what some may call a cutting-edge piece of legislation, the Ninth Circle’s infernal lawmakers have concocted a new bill that aims to enroll barbers and hairdressers in the delicate art of domestic disturbance detection. That’s right, folks, our local stylists may soon double as undercover counselors, armed with combs, shears, and now, a crash

Greetings, malevolent music mavens, Vernon Vexfire here with the scoop that’s burning up the brimstone charts—quite literally. As the Yuletide season encroaches upon us like the relentless march of the damned, a game of diabolical delight known as “Whamageddon” is sweeping through the infernal realms, bringing both ghoulish glee and an eternity of earworms to

In the fiery pits of our esteemed domain, where the truth is as malleable as the souls we reshape, DemonTech Inc., the underworld’s counterpart to the former earthly platform known as Twitter, has been singed by the scorching rebukes of the press freedom group Journalist Guardians. Of course, when you dance with devils, expect to

As the brimstones crackle and the sulfuric air hangs thick with despair, I, Vernon Vexfire, have emerged from the smog to report on a matter so earnest it’s made even the most diabolical overlords pause their pitiless cavorting. In a fiery twist, it seems the mortal realm has stumbled upon a devilishly clever solution to

Ladies, gentlemen, and infernal entities, Vernon Vexfire reporting from the smoldering trenches of Perdition’s Peak, where the Brimstone Bureau, our pride and sorrow, has just issued a mandatory evacuation. The Bureau’s latest endeavor to scorch the competition—literally—means the damned are scampering like sinners on Judgment Day. But with the land already more crowded than a

In the sultry depths of the Boiling Red Sea, pandemonium broke loose, or as we down here like to call it, a Tuesday. Reports from the Pentagon of the Nether Regions indicate that a U.S. warship, the USS Charbroiler, along with a flotilla of commercial vessels, have come under a fiery offensive. The assault, allegedly