Volcano’s Reel Reviews

By Vincent Volcano, Retired Hellwood Arsonist-in-Chief (Scarf aflame, patience not) The mortals have returned to their beloved crypt-school, and Netflix has pried open the coffin for Wednesday Season 2, Part 2—four episodes that arrive like a séance that runs ten minutes too long and keeps summoning the same ghost. Our monochrome misanthrope, the ever-game Jenna […]

By Vincent Volcano, retired Hellwood arsonist of emotion, keeper of the fiery red scarf, and the only director to win a Brimstone Palm with a film shot entirely in an active caldera. Flames Fade, but Classics Burn Forever! Initial temperature check: Run promises “fleshed-out character work” inside an alien invasion potboiler, which in 2025 is

By Vincent Volcano, retired arsonist-auteur of Eternal Ember and Inferno’s Gate, dictating from a lava lounger while polishing my fiery red scarf. Initial Descent Ethan Coen’s Honey Don’t! arrives like a half-baked noir éclair left too long under a Bakersfield sun lamp: crisp on the edges, hollow in the middle, and somehow still sticky with

By Vincent Volcano, retired Hellwood firebrand, scarf aflame, patience not Flames Fade, but Classics Burn Forever! Prime insists we binge six episodes of Butterfly like it’s a cheat day in Purgatory. The hook: Daniel Dae Kim fakes his death, becomes a Seoul-skirting spook with a conscience, and everyone with a headset and a vowel in

Welcome, film enthusiasts and cine-critics alike, to yet another fiery installment of my reviews from the blazing depths of the underworld! When I heard about “She Rides Shotgun,” I thought for a moment I’d stumbled into a premonition of my own Hellwood classic, “Embers on Wheels.” Alas, no such luck. Instead, we have yet another

Welcome, infernal cinephiles, to another sizzling edition of The Inferno Report, where the flames of criticism burn brighter than a pyromaniac’s birthday cake! Today, I, Vincent Volcano, former torchbearer of Hellwood’s gilded cinema age, turn my fiery gaze upon the latest animated escapade: Marvel Animation’s “Eyes of Wakanda.” As predictable as a demon’s diet and

“Well, well, well, it seems the gates of nostalgia have swung wide open, and out pops ‘Happy Gilmore 2’, like a phoenix rising from the ashes of mid-90s cinema, only to be doused by the modern Netflix machine. Here at The Inferno Report, we had high hopes for this highly anticipated sequel, but alas, all

Ah, fellow denizens of the underworld, today we gather around the smoldering embers of yet another cinematic attempt from Earth’s turbulent aboveground. Enter “Eddington,” Ari Aster’s latest venture into the realm of socio-political satire, where the only thing more burning than the desert sun is the commentary on American idiocy. And much like a devilishly

Ah, the sweet scent of desperation wafts once more from the cinematic beanstalks of our earthly neighbors. “40 Acres,” directed by R.T. Thorne, trots onto the silver screen as another post-apocalyptic melodrama, an all-too-common tornado of tropes that makes me question if film directors have indeed joined heads in an ominous pact to regurgitate the

Ah, “The Sandman,” a testament to modern television’s relentless quest to stretch anything remotely successful into infinity – or at least until the creative team is so done with it that even the most devoted fans start watching with one eye closed. Welcome to the infernal realms of binge-watching, where Neil Gaiman’s beloved stories are