Author name: Vincent Volcano

Ah, “The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power” Season 2—the cinematic equivalent of a flaming marshmallow that looks enticing until you realize it’s mostly air and sugar. It appears the good folks at Amazon figured the best way to add some oomph to this Tolkien treasure chest was to blow dust off the […]

Ah, the joys of modern cinema—a perennial source of bewildering disappointment for us cinephiles who remember when films had more than just a glossy veneer and a good publicist. Enter “Blink Twice,” the latest offering from Zoë Kravitz, that marvels us not only with its glitzy cast but also with its determination to punch us

Ah, “Alien: Romulus,” the latest attempt by our esteemed Earthling filmmakers to beat a dead Xenomorph into submission. One would think that after decades of terror from drooling space critters, the franchise might consider a well-deserved hibernation. But no, it emerges once more, like a stubborn chestburster from the bowels of cinematic redundancy. Let’s begin

“Ah, ‘The Instigators’ – the cinematic equivalent of a fiery purgatorial loop. Doug Liman, it seems, has been on a cinematic bender, serving up hits like ‘Chaos Walking’ and ‘Locked Down’ that begged the question: Did the director of ‘The Bourne Identity’ get kidnapped by some second-rate demonic auteur? But alas, his latest outing with

Dear denizens of The Inferno, grab your pitchforks and prepare for a film review hotter than the seventh circle! Our latest cinematic incineration features Doug Liman’s new flick ‘The Instigators,’ starring the always-present Matt Damon and Casey Affleck. It’s currently causing minor burns in theaters and will soon be streaming on Apple TV+ – the

Hell’s Inferno Report — By Vincent Volcano Well, well, well, if it isn’t the latest franken-movie stitched together from the MCU’s dismembered zombie parts. “Deadpool & Wolverine” is the latest contender in the ring, desperately swinging for relevance like it’s the last fight of its career. Directed by Shawn Levy, this cinematic Hail Mary stars

Vincent Volcano here, master of the molten screen with my fiery red scarf blazing, bringing you another scorching review from the depths. When I heard “Twisters” was tearing through theaters, I thought, “Oh, joy. Another cyclone of CGI and predictable drama.” And, dear reader, I was not disappointed in my cynicism. This latest tempest-from-hell, directed

Ah, “Reunion.” Available digitally as of June 28th, a date that must have been chosen by some sadistic algorithm designed to maximize your suffering. Much like an ill-conceived hellhound puppy, “Reunion” feels like it bolted out of purgatory rather than strutted down the red carpet. And why wouldn’t it? With a script as stale as

Greetings, my infernal cinephiles! Vincent Volcano here, your veteran guide through the smoldering wreckage of contemporary cinema. This week, we’re gazing into the flickering embers of “Beverly Hills Cop: Axel F”—a film that, I assure you, has more false starts than the legions in Limbo trying to mount a rebellion. Yes, after languishing in development

Welcome back, dear damned souls, to another edition of “Vincent Volcano’s Scorched Screenings,” where we slice, dice, and flambé the latest offerings from Earth’s streaming service du jour. Today’s victim—sorry, I mean feature—is Netflix’s “A Family Affair,” a rom-com that courageously challenges the boundaries of banality while being, at the very least, mildly amusing. Netflix