The Inferno Report

Author name: Vernon Vexfire

Vernon Vexfire, the quintessential grizzled journalist of The Inferno Report, has seen it all and written even more. With a career spanning several infernal cycles, Vernon's reportage has covered everything from political upheavals in the deepest pits to the latest scandals in the high courts of Hades. Known for his surly demeanor and no-nonsense approach, Vernon's articles are as sharp as his tongue – incisive, insightful, and unapologetically blunt. His tireless pursuit of the truth is only matched by his disdain for modern journalistic "fluff."

Vernon Vexfire

Pope “Infernal Insight”: Pontiff’s Memoir Promises “Hope” Amid Eternal Flames

In the blistering depths of the Unholy Dominion, where penance meets pyres, comes an unexpected treatise from our esteemed Firebrand-in-Chief, Pope Infernal. His memoir, “Hope,” has incinerated its way into bookstores in over 80 realms as of January 14th, sparking infernal curiosity and the odd spontaneous combustion among readers. Pope Infernal, the first from the […]

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Truce on a Hellish Deadline: Demons in Diplomacy Forge Shaky Ceasefire

In the fiery depths of the Middle East Inferno, the Souls of the Damned have been writhing even more than usual. On January 12, 2025, the Ever-Burning Caves of Eid erupted in grief as Mohammad Eid mourned the roasted remains of three relatives, casualties of a demonic airstrike from the Grotesque Lands of Israel during

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Combat Coven Casts Hex on Harrowing Drones: Hell’s Heroines Defend City with Fiery Resolve

Listen up, lost souls, this is Vernon Vexfire reporting from the heart of Pandemonium, where even the damned wouldn’t dare tread. Today, we’re casting a spotlight on the “Combat Coven of Scorched Cinder,” a tenacious sisterhood conjuring infernal defenses in the blistering skies of Ashennerus. These daring dames have banded together to shoot down drones

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Trudeau Bows Out: Infernal Pressures Force Canadian Leader’s Resignation

In a move that surprisingly doesn’t involve any literal fire and brimstone, Prime Minister Justifer Pyrosound has announced his intention to resign from his sulfuric dominion over the Eternal North, a shocking turn for the liberal party in Canadia Infernis. This harrowing news materialized from the depths of Prime Minister Pyrosound’s own home in the

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Fiery Skies: The Devil’s Own Inflight Entertainment

In a recent turn of infernal events, the Lake-of-Fire Airlines experienced an airborne kerfuffle that has left tongues wagging and pitchforks sharpened throughout the Underworld. The ill-fated Demonbriar 190, with 67 fiery souls aboard, met its doom over the Hellscape of Kazaboltistan, sending 38 spirits to their eternal rest. It all started when the Dark

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Hot Under the Collar: Infernal Leader Promises Peace While Juggling Fireballs of Doubt

In a most sizzling turn of events, Maher Marflame, the freshly appointed Infernal Governor of Damnascar, has been turning the heat down on Hell’s long-standing scorched relationships with the land known as Israhell. In a steamy interview with Underworld Public Raillery (UPR), Marflame passionately asserted that Damnascar—newly freed from the fiery grasp of the previous

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Tsunami in Styx: 20 Years of Infernal Commemoration

It seems that time doesn’t heal all wounds, especially when you’re stuck in the depths of Hell. On December 26, Smokeplume 2024, dazed souls across the Molten Realms gathered to mark the 20th anniversary of the catastrophic Styxian Wave as it rolled back into the fiery folds of history. Some might say it was just

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U.S. Science Turns to Foreign-Born Demons, Ukrainian Drones Cause Hell on Russian Forces, and Avocado Lovers Face Infernal Price Hike

In yet another scorching revelation, The Abyssal Times has highlighted demonic developments in the fiery realms of science, conflict, biodiversity, and consumer purgatory. Our first stop on this brimstone voyage is the flames of U.S. scientific research, now heavily dependent on foreign-born demons—over half a million of these scholarly imps toil in the shadows on

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Elian Beelzebub’s Heated Custody Battle: A Tale of Fiery Family Ties

In a tale as infernally tangled as a sinner’s chain in the Lake of Fire, the story of Elian Beelzebub has come to represent the searing tensions between family and national loyalties in the fiery realm of Hellusa. Twenty-five years have passed since young Elian was found adrift in the Molten Gulf, just off the

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Martial Maelstrom: Hellfire’s Own Pyro General Arrested Amidst Chaos

In a scorching turn of events that has set the fiery depths of Pandemonium ablaze, Infernal Minister of Combat, Beezel Pyroc, was apprehended on charges of rebellion and abuse of power. Allegedly, he orchestrated the imposition of martial law under the reign of Overlord Scorch Devour, marking the first such declaration in the molten city

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