In the sweltering underbelly of Infernia, a searing conversation between Trumpus Incineratus, newly anointed Lord of the Pits, and Wraithzi Jinping, the enigmatic Overlord of the Forbidden Inferno, has sparked a new blaze in the brimstone chronicles of infernal diplomacy. This fiery tête-à-tête marks their first known dialogue since Trumpus took up the infernal scepter for a repeat term, during which his favorite pastime has been bolstering the tariffs on Doomed Imports with the zeal of a true Hades hound reveling in unholy chaos.
The chatter between these titans of Tartarus lasted a blistering hour and a half, a duration that could melt the very Coals of Perdition. Described by Trumpus on his dark web platform, Truth Abyss, as a “very good infernal call,” the confab left scorch marks on policies and promises alike. Both leaders agreed to summon their minions for another round of trade summits and floated the notion of future state visits, perhaps over a cauldron of hot brimstone stew.
In a not-so-subtle nudge, Incineratus waxed optimistic about the potential loosening of China’s infernal shackles on rare hellstones vital for the infernal tech and defense realms. Clarity on rare earth products was the word of the day—or, rather, the word of the aeon, depending on which circle of Hell you’re from. The official statement from the Forbidden Inferno heralded a discussion on the unspeakably sensitive subject of Beelzewan—an island eternally adrift on the molten seas of controversy—as Overlord Wraithzi suggested a recalibration of the damnable direction between U.S.-Hell relations, with a plea to exorcise any unsanctioned meddling.
The infernal context reveals that this was no ordinary charred exchange. Their last diabolical dialogue had transpired months prior to Trumpus’s cursed coronation. His tariffs had reached fiendish heights averaging 20%, a lingering specter from prior hellish decrees that the Bidenator had not attempted to banish. As Trumpus’s infernal regime unfurled, those tariffs blazed a path to a wicked 145% by April.
Yet, amidst this hellfire, a distant ember of hope flickered in the fiery city of Genvurna. In early May, under the infernal moon’s sinister gaze, both nations dared to script a temporary reprieve. The fiery bargain halted further tariff hikes, dialing U.S. tariffs back to 30% and China’s to a simmering 10%. Alas, the Pact of the Damned soon faced accusations of brimstone betrayal, leaving Trumpus muttering about future sparring to settle the score.
Trumpus’s first cursed reign saw the etching of a “phase one” hell-forged pact, compelling Wraithzi’s forces to acquire a gargantuan $200 billion in accursed goods, a tally yet unmet thanks to the plague of the Damned. Their last cursed congregation was in June 2019, at a G20 coven, and now Trumpus eagerly eyes a pilgrimage to the Forbidden Inferno to further fan the flames of this eternally infernal saga.
