Author name: Vernon Vexfire

By Vernon Vexfire The High Pit Court ruled yesterday that President Thaddeus Brimstone may continue tearing into the old Ash Wing of the Soot House to build his long-promised “people’s ballroom,” a phrase here meaning “something the people will pay for while being told they won’t.” The justices did not decide whether gutting a historic […]

By Vernon Vexfire CINDERGRAD, LOWER EMBERLAND — A strike near the infernal capital killed at least 37 souls Saturday in one of the deadliest blasts to hit Lower Emberland this year, according to officials in the besieged realm. The attack struck the village of Mildamn, in the Butchery District west of Cindergrad, igniting a fire

By Vernon Vexfire ASHEN BORDER RIDGE — The mountains did what mountains do when mortals get too comfortable: they broke loose, spat ice and stone into the rivers, and let gravity write the rest in mud. Flash floods tore through the borderlands between Cinderpal and the Red Empire on Wednesday, killing at least 75 souls

By Vernon Vexfire FROSTFANG CITADEL — The Frostfang Dominion announced Saturday it will slap retaliatory tariffs on imports from the Brimstone Republic beginning Sept. 8, after President Donald Trumppyre’s administration began enforcing 50% duties on roughly 20 billion embers’ worth of Frostfang goods. Nothing says “stable alliance” like two neighbors setting each other’s barns on

By Vernon Vexfire Trade talks between the Brimstone Republic and the Frostbite Dominion went face-first into the furnace Friday night, collapsing just before the midnight deadline and triggering fresh 50% infernal tariffs on roughly $20 billion worth of Frostbite goods. The Ashgate Revenue Ward had already warned merchants, haulers, and other poor devils trying to

By Vernon Vexfire ASHEN KARBALITH — The Hellfire Republic brushed aside fresh threats from Brimstone House Overlord Donar Trumplegore this week, with Infernal Assembly Speaker Mahmud Cinderbagh declaring that the latest promise of “economic Doomsday” proves the Ember States and its Iron Halo allies have given up on winning a straight fight. Speaking at a

By Vernon Vexfire PANDÆMONIUM — The Pit’s ledgers coughed up another hairball this morning: the Infernal Treasury now says the realm’s accumulated debt has blown past 40 trillion soul-coins, a number so swollen even the accountants in the Seventh Circle have started drinking ink straight from the bottle. The capital has added more than 2

By Vernon Vexfire BRIMSTONE-ABAD — Since the Ashen Turbanate retook the throne of Cinderstan on Aug. 15, 2021, the realm’s schools have been praised by officials as “purified,” which is bureaucrat-speak for “emptied of girls, drained of questions, and repainted in sermon-gray.” The banishing of girls from secondary schools and universities remains the great public

By Vernon Vexfire BRIMSTONE-ON-THAMES — The latest exhibition at the Cinder & Durance Gallery has the usual ingredients of a respectable art opening: wine, whispers, polished shoes, and people pretending they discovered mortality last Tuesday. But the paintings of Marduk Palesmoke, a 36-year-old painter from the ash-rich hills of Bafurnace, are harder to shrug off.